Annual Strip Poker Tournament
by Cadey
Summary: A challenge response. Basically, the SGC starts up a strip poker tournament.


Title: Annual Strip Poker Tournament  
Author: Cadey  
Email: cadey@cchono.com  
Status: Complete  
Category: Humor  
Spoilers: none  
Season/Sequel info:  
Rating: PG-13  
Content Warnings:  
Summary: Challenge response. 1. Must involve the whole SGC in a strip Poker tournament (except General Hammond -- too gross to think of). 2. General Hammond walks in, screams, says "Oh my god! It's hideous!" and faints. 3. Daniel gets kidnapped by at least three nurses, and as he gets dragged away, he screams, "No! I'm only a child!! NO!!!" 4. Teal'c must have Looney Tunes underpants, extra points if he says "They reminded me of Apophis."  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. Looney Tunes belongs to Warner Brothers. Joe Boxer ain't mine either. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
  
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Sam Carter remarked. She was, at present, freezing her ass off in no more than a tank top and a pair of black bikini panties.  
  
Her CO, Jack O'Neill, and mastermind of the First Annual SGC Strip Poker Tournament looked at her. "You gonna ante up or what Carter?" He was dressed in far more than most people were, still retaining his shirt and pants. Sam highly suspected that the Colonel was a former card shark.  
  
She looked at her cards and called. The rules were simple. Duces were wild and once you lose all of your clothes, you're out of the tournament.  
  
Daniel Jackson shook his head. "Fold." He knew that his hand wasn't good enough to win, and he was down to only his boxers. He set down his cards and looked around the mess hall. There were several groups of people, most minus several articles of clothing, and they tended to congregate by teams. SG-1 with the addition of Janet Fraiser was one of the few that still had all the original players still in clothing. Daniel sneaked a glance at the scantily-clad Doctor and admitted that he never figured her to wear thongs. He shook his head slightly and refocused his attention on the game. Both Janet and Teal'c had folded as well, leaving only Jack and Sam.  
  
"Four kings. Start stripping Carter."  
  
Sam smiled. "Royal flush. *You* strip, Sir."  
  
Jack looked at her. "You do know I'm going to have to get you back for that."  
  
Sam leaned forward, giving Jack a good view of her cleavage. "I look forward to it," she purred. Daniel shook his head as Jack pulled off his shirt and fatigues, leaving him in a pair of bright yellow boxers with a smiley face.  
  
Janet snickered. "I never figured you to be a Joe Boxer kinda guy, Colonel."  
  
Jack smiled. "I'm just full of surprises. Ask Sam, since she's the one that gave them to me."  
  
Janet looked at Sam, who was blushing at the combined glances of everyone at their table. "Birthday gift," she explained. "Who's in?"  
  
Janet shook her head and yawned. "Deal me out. I've got to check in with the infirmary."  
  
"All right people, ante up."  
  
  
  
By the time the next round was done, Daniel was out, Sam lost her tank top, and Teal'c lost his pants. Sam tried her hardest to stifle a giggle when she saw Teal'c's boxers of choice.  
  
Jack, on the other hand, wasn't fighting giggles and had to ask. "Marvin the Maritan?"  
  
Teal'c shrugged a massive shoulder. "They reminded me of Apophis." At that, Sam giggled softly.  
  
"No giggling, Carter." Jack said.  
  
"Sorry sir," she replied back, trying to keep a straight face.  
  
"'Isn't it delightful?'" Jack whispered in her ear, imitating Marvin right down to the funny voice. Sam lost it and laughed loudly, drawing attention to their table.   
  
Three women, nurses all, looked at them then staundered up to their table. Two grabbed either one of Daniel's arms, while the third physically picked him up out of the seat.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing?"  
  
"Doc's orders," the brunette holding his left arm cooed. "She wants us to bring you to the infirmary for a check up."  
  
Everyone could hear Daniel as the nurses dragged him away yelling, "No! I'm only a child! NO!!"  
  
Sam snorted and then hiccuped. "Ow."  
  
"Hurt yourself Carter?"  
  
She hiccuped again. "Just laughed too -hic!- much, sir."  
  
Teal'c cocked his head to one side. "I believe that I will check on DanielJackson. Goodnight O'Neill, MajorCarter."  
  
"Night Teal'c," they chorused. Sam threw down the cards.  
  
"Well, there goes that game."  
  
Jack leered at her. "Still wanna play Carter?"  
  
She smiled. "Of course."  
  
"Then grab the cards and your clothes and meet me in my quarters in five minutes, Major."   
  
"Aye aye Sir."  
  
She followed him out the side door just as General Hammond entered his office. His face registered shock and horror at the large green plant somone had stuck in there.  
  
"Oh my God! It's hideous!" He yelled, just before fainting. For it was truly an ugly plant. But that's another story. Right now Jack and Sam are still playing strip poker in his quarters while Doc Frasier checks Daniel over, due to his repeated screams that he's just a child, while Teal'c and Junior madly race through the halls, trying to avoid those three nurses. And that's how the Annual Strip Poker Tournament started.  
  
The End. 


End file.
